Imperfections — in things, in people, in places — add character to life. Tell us about an imperfection that you cherish.
This Daily Prompt has landed late in my inbox and I am away to my bed shortly with an early start to negotiate. What to write? What imperfection springs to mind in this moment? Something that I cherish.
All of it. All of the imperfection. I cherish it all. Every piece of broken me.
Call it Grist for The Mill. Compost in which to plant a seed for growth.
Every time I was imperfect, every imperfect thought, every imperfect deed, was an opportunity for me to let go of the ideal of perfection.The attainment of an elusive enlightenment. The road to Heaven.
To let go of the idea that I had to become something. Be somebody. Get there.
All of those imperfections, dancing vicariously at the edge of my mind, taunting me with a reflection of the lack of perfection that I am. All of them are who I am.
I said I cherish it all.
I don’t. I want to but I don’t.
If only I could sit more comfortably with it. Accept it. Let go of the strain of trying.
I struggle with the lack of perfection in me. I criticise myself too much, too often and it becomes a weight at times.
Unbearable heaviness of being.
Intellectually I can be very Zen about it but in my body there is anxiety. Fear. It is a deeply rooted thing and my journey towards letting go has lasted this long and I still carry it.
It has made me who I am today.
I should be grateful but I am not.
I don’t like this inner doubt. This gnawing aching sense that all is about to crumble into dust. This shadow that wraps itself around my core.
This is my way. This is my being.
Vulnerable. Scared. Open. Uncertain.
I want peace. I want to sit and just be still. With it all.
I want to let go.
I want with all of my heart to cherish all of ME in all my imperfection.
There is work still to be done.
“The suffering comes when you try to hold onto continuity. Our lives are grist for the mill. Grist for the mill.” Ram Dass