Daily Prompt:
Million-Dollar Question
by michelle w. on April 16, 2013

Why do you blog?

I have just returned from spending some time away from the rural idyll I call home. I was in the Big Smoke. London Town. They don’t call it that any more but there you go. London Town it is to me. Being away and having to make an enormous effort to get online I did not bother, except for a few fumbles with the mobile. I can do a basic blog from that device but I can’t link things easily or swiftly enough for my liking and I find the whole thing frustrating. Picture blogs with bits of text, no bother. But writing on a device that is smaller than my own hand. No. Not going to work. Not for this budding wordsmith anyhow. There is a ghost of a memory of a typewriter about the key board with my pc that makes me think I am actually writing…you know…writing.

I wonder if anyone has designed a typewriter keyboard that feels and sounds like a type writer used to but loads it onto the pc screen directly? Maybe I should use a typewriter. Anyway I know I need to be sat in a chair with a keyboard in front of me or a pen and a pad. I digress. My lack of blogging this few days past has thrown up the very same question that the Daily prompt has issued today. In that time I have written little and I have read little too, so why after all, do I blog?

I wasn’t going to write for DP anymore because I have been sensing a growing voice that wants to speak for itself rather than be prompted. The training wheels are off or so I thought. Then as if by some twist of fate DP brings it’s thinking into alignment with my own or mine falls into step with it. Doesn’t matter. It’s inescapable. I have to answer the DP and escape it simultaneously. If I could not find an answer to that question I would honestly walk away now. Close my WordPress writer’s account and stop. I’d keep the Photography Blog because it has legs and I have more belief in my work there than I currently do as a writer.

As a writer.

Just seeing those words in print in front of me on the screen and knowing that they have existed, if only for a second, (I considered deletion as soon as they appeared), does stir something in me.

As a writer.

I like the idea that I have a voice. I am not sure what it wants to say and I believe that dropping out from DP will allow me the space to discover it. It will also remove most of my readership, which comes via ping backs. That in itself is not an issue. I am writing now but I don’t know why. This feels like an excavation. A journey. To find my voice perhaps. To chip away at the blank alabaster page until form presents itself. Perhaps there is a need to be heard, a desire to be seen as having a voice, even if only one person can recognise that. One reader is enough. Ultimately I believe I have a story to tell. I have no plot. No characters. No narrative. No idea.

That lack of knowledge or direction has never stopped me in the past from trying something new.
I am a risk taker. I will write simply because right at this moment in time I have that desire.

Yesterday I watched a French film by François Ozon called A la Maison/In the House.

I enjoyed it thoroughly. It made me think. It made me feel. It was beautifully written and well acted.
Beautifully written. As the central story line is about writing I was entranced from the beginning. Writers I have never heard of were mentioned, for example,  Flaubert and I was immediately aware of my lack of credentials as a writer in respect of what I have read. The student in the story is given mountains of material to read from Dickens to Dostoyevsky.

I have read neither of these writers either. Must one read to write? Must one dance to drum? Must one study music to play an instrument. I believe not. I believe that a unique voice must come from deep within and be unsullied by other influences. Should I go therefore and live in a cave in order to compose my works? Not read anything? Of course not.

Everything I have lived through is a ripple on the pond that is my life.
I can read anyone’s work. I can be influenced by it. Amazed by it.
I can learn to read music to broaden my understanding and to help me discover what it is I can let go of.
I can dance to help me hear the connection with the drum and still want to drum more than I want to dance.
I can do all of those things and still find my voice.

This I believe.

I have worked with classically trained musicians who find improvisation difficult when I can play freely but they can sight read music whilst all I see is Scribbles 😉

Maybe I cannot say anything new, and maybe others will compare me to this person or that person but in the end, the answer to the question Why do I blog? is quite simple. I want to find my voice. I will find my voice. This will be my last Daily Prompt response, at least for the time being, and my upcoming work schedule will also mean daily posts are unlikely.

I have no sense of where I will go with this leap into the unknown but I will go there anyway. I hope some of you will come along for the ride.ps…just in case you are not a clicker of links, here’s a picture to warm the cockles of any budding writer’s heart 😉

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