This tiny ember

it took a while

searching among the debris

always finding nothing

there was of course a lot of it

debris that is

accumulated piles of everything bad

in that dark place

there must be something here

something

time after time i came up empty handed

nothing there

it’s as if the pile of dark matter was laughing at me

don’t waste your time

this is who you are

nothing

i behaved as if it were true sometimes

most times

i believed it

others did not

they told me they could see something

but when i looked i could not find that thing

i looked and i looked

for years

i never gave up

and one day i found it

a tiny little ember

hidden in the debris

soft warm glowing thing

i picked it up and it glowed a little more

i cocooned it in my palms and felt its warmth spread across my being

this tiny little ember

this hope

this small joy

this core part of me

no longer lost

no longer someone else’s perception

i could feel it

see it

touch it

this tiny little ember

here in the garden of the debris of me

this tiny little ember has begun to glow

and to grow

layer by layer

i let in the love

my love

like making an onion

from the inside out

heart open

gratitude flowing through my veins

i am blessed with this discovery

this tiny little ember

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

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