Img source Narcissus by Caravaggio
Over at dVerse this evening Bjorn is hosting and asking us “to write poetry that creates drama by focusing on the contrast between opposites, between light and dark, between good and evil. There is some connections to the technique of antithesis I have written about before, but here you have to think a bit like Caravaggio. You have to make the light shine and lift from the shadows. Create drama and volume of the light you want to lift from the dark backdrop, and don’t forget the drama”
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Oh that such beauty
and lightness of countenance
could bring a darkness of being to bear witness
to life itself
one who shunned all love proffered
in disdain and with aloofness
calling out in search of self perhaps
and hearing an echo
one that was embodied
but faded into sound
alone
alone
and how deep black was that pool
that reflected the light within
and revealed the true love
Here lies Nemesis in it’s unforgiving depths
revenge
silent
deadly
endless
and it drew Narcissus
into the impossible dance with self
that left
no self
at all
***
What an interesting response to Narcissus theme Paul ~ I specially like the contrast of lightness and darkness, drawing into that impossible dance with oneself ~ I would like to believe that the self is very much intact ~
Thank you once again for your thoughtful comment. Depends on the context I guess Grace. In Narcissus’ situation it led to his death by suicide. Perhaps his eternal self remained unchanged but the chap peering into the water nor his reflection were no more.
oh lovely writing… have used that painting in an earlier poem of mine as well https://thotpurge.wordpress.com/2016/09/29/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall/
Thanks for the comment. Nice work over at your blog too.
‘it drew Narcissus into the impossible dance with self that left no self at all’ sigh.. beautifully haunting!!
Thank You Sanaa
haunting indeed
Thanks
“Here lies Nemesis in it’s unforgiving depths”…chilling, but truths are like that…
Thanks. Glad you liked it.
Great recounting of the Narcissus tale. I especially love the way you did the line breaks in the final 4 lines.
I wanted that part to land slowly in the consciousness of the reader. Glad to hear it reverberated with you.
Hi Paul! Sorry I’ve only just got around to reading today. I like theme of Narcissus and the way you have woven lightness and dark into the poem right from the first lines. Even the echo has its nuances: ‘calling out in search of self perhaps / and hearing an echo /
one that was embodied / but faded into sound / alone / alone’
I love the deep black pool ‘that reflected the light within’ and the fading ending that conveys the drawing of ‘Narcissus / into the impossible dance with self / that left / no self / at all’.
Wow. This wins my comment of the year award. Thank You so much for taking time to reflect so deeply on my poem. I was really happy with the echo part and I wanted to talk about her character in a way that resonated with the idea of an echo alone…hence the repeated line.
The dark pool was a perfect container for Nemesis and worked well with the theme.
Thanks again for such a wonderful comment.
Thank you for sharing your poem, Paul!
I really like how you use the contrast between the darkness of the pool and the light that make him drown in self.
Thanks Bjorn. This was challenging write.
This is a really good poem on Darkness/Light, Paul. Using Narcissus as the self to encapsulate this theme is brilliant. That end part of drowning in self….it nails the ‘fruits’ of narcissism. There is never room for light in these folk. They are the end all and be all of Life. I read this poem as a textbook in psychology of Narcissism. Bravo. This soars.
Thank You. I think we all have access to a ‘narcissistic self’ and perhaps I drew on that part of me to fashion this.
A day oF liGht
wHeRe all stood
togeTher naked
free iN niGht
without scare of
separate.. cooperation..
liFe of day then..
whEre mirrors
of Love are
pools
in eYes
of other ones
wHole as Family..
Nature.. sAMe..
hmm.. too many
humans now.. overall
me generationS eventuAlly
could save planet eYes from
more of togetHeRness hiding liGht
of living day beyond killing fields more
we..
like
‘they’ say..
there is now
a sliver..
a silver lining
iN Nature’s play..
toGetHer wiTh
lone…
surviving
all more..:)
The struggle between the selves that look out and in. The delicate balance as we seek to merge external experiences with our ego.
Well put Brian. Delicate it is.