w(hole)d

Marian hosts us today at Real Toads with a cool video but a deeply sad story that lives alongside it.

Friends! Am sharing this newly-released video for Christina Grimmie, a young and vibrant singer-songwriter, gamer, and YouTuber who unfortunately was murdered last year after one of her concerts. I was thinking about the idea of invisibility and came across this lovely tribute to a talented woman who had a fondness for gaming and anime.

For Day 14, let’s muse on invisibility. What does it feel like to be invisible? Who or what is invisible? Would invisibility be a cool superpower or what? Or, feel free to explore the links I’m providing for Christina Grimmie and be inspired by her work or life.

it begins as a search 

(for something 
)


some     thing

any   thing





to fill up this void

that is 



no thing



(this name

less 


form

less
)


invisibility



this unfeeling place 

beyond



(
beyond 

even thought)



vast and echoing in the

emptiness



it seems to

growl


quietly 
and 

consistently




a reflex (in the gut

)


invisible




feel

me (feel me feel)



so i search 

for 

the ecstatic 




in spirit or
in that uplifted


smoke 



at the holy alter

of me




in unwashed bed sheets

i come

looking



and still i cannot find


that




the nature of 

this 



w(hole 

)
is


in   vis   i  ble




i have no memory 

of 

the pain 




endured






just deep-smudged mascara
in my pores




those dark days 

remain dark



invisible






trains (that in the night

smashed my dreamt

-visible 

into oblivion

)


afford
nothing



no longer calling
at this station



they are

always 



just a whisper 

of
wind

 away



invisible

and ridden in the belly of that seeming growl


by fear himself



whose laughter screeches


reminding me that i run




from some thing


i cannot

even see



(can deep evil 



beget love

)



invisible



am i consigned 

to being pure (torn soul

in) visible






or can i



(try)

and (embrace
  this
invisible



)


 

napo2017button1

napowrimo 14/30

17 thoughts on “w(hole)d

  1. Marian says:

    Ahhh… interesting. I especially like “the holy altar of me” or is it “alter”? that is a fun play and very suggestive. One might keep in mind the holiness of oneself when starting to become invisible… or alter oneself to remain relevant. I really enjoyed reading this.

    • paul scribbles says:

      Thanks Marion….it’s alter…i like how it opens things up and adds a twist of’ did he mean that?’…. it was inspired by a conversation with Brendan.

      ‘The holiness of myself’ is and has been vital for me during my life in holding on when i seem to be disappearing for sure but there is also that place where there is no holiness at all anymore, beyond surrender, where there is only invisible. Here is where i am trying to go with this writing and I suspect this will be reformed over and again. On the right track but not there yet. Thanks for the thoughtful and stimulating comment.

  2. Kerry says:

    This is so haunting, Paul. The way you have strung out the words over several lines and used parenthesis give the effect of a disembodied voice, perhaps speaking from the dead.
    I think this is my favourite of yours this month so far.

  3. Jim says:

    I like this Paul, it is a bit hard to read. Copy and normalize it on MS Word would help.. Easy way is to read between the lines, the true meaning is hidden there. I’d like the prompt again an I too would write an invisible poem, or parts invisible. A is is now, my people are invisible as are most posted so far.
    ..
    ..

    • paul scribbles says:

      Thanks Jim. Sorry you found it hard to read but normalizing it is the last thing I want to do.It is designed this way for precisely that reason. I guess it’s not supposed to be an easy read.

  4. Brendan says:

    The tentative lingering longing approaches to the invisible here is everything in silence between the beats. It whispers, which is the proper register for awe.

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